Relationships are wonderful, but they can also be complicated. When you enter a relationship, you trust your partner, give your heart to them, and may promise forever. But sometimes love and dedication are not enough to keep a relationship alive or to save it when difficult life events occur. The end of a relationship is a significant loss in your life.
Hurt, anger, betrayal, and fear are just a few of the emotions you feel after a breakup. Being uncertain and worried about your future is a natural consequence of this significant loss.
Grieving the Loss of Your Relationship
When you experience the loss of a relationship it can feel like you’ve experienced a loss at the hands
of another person. You may have lost your sense of self, of belonging, of safety and trust of yourself and others. You may also have lost many tangible things like your home, your possessions, and your financial security among other things.
These losses are real, and are just as devastating because the loss of these things may have given you a foundation, a purpose, or a course for your future. As you sift through the shock, anger, and confusion, it is important to allow yourself to feel sorrow, as well. Sitting with the sadness allows you to better discern how to move toward healing.
Healing the Loss of Your Relationship
One of the mistakes that people often make in this part of their grief journey is getting into another relationship to distract themselves, run from, or numb the pain of the loss. Instead of healing, people often set themselves up for another loss.
Giving yourself time to heal is essential when grieving a lost relationship. If you were to break
a bone, you would put a cast around it to protect the bone while it heals. When your heart breaks, you need to create the same boundary so it can heal properly.
By taking time to grieve and to self-reflect with honest eyes, you see what you need to learn
from your past. You discover what you really want and need for yourself moving forward. You take time to get your footing, reacquaint yourself with you, and learn to trust yourself again. This is the beginning of recreating your life.
Recreating Your Life After a Breakup or Divorce
Building your relationship with yourself is the key to healing and thriving after a breakup or divorce. This self-knowledge will provide you with clarity: answers about what went wrong and how you can do things differently moving forward. You may come through this loss deciding to make your life your own, finding purpose and meaning without a partner, or you may come through this loss with better discernment of what you want and need from a partner, and how you can be your best self within a new relationship.